Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Silence
by gylfie9
Summary: Sweden's never been good with words. He had never been able to say what he thinks. So why is he here, in Copenhagen? And what happens when it all comes flooding out? A DenSwe/SweDen fic Tribute for Denmark 5/6 and Sweden's 6/6 birthdays :D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Happy Birthday Sweden! :D This is for you.**

**Alright so this is the first installment of a two part story. I have been working on it for quite a while and am still working on the second part. The pairing is DenSwe or SweDen, and although I'm not that great at romance I thought I'd give it a shot. Thought I'd keep the author's note short today so the rest of it is after the story.**

**Disclaimer: Ich (I) besitze (own) kein (_not)_ Hetalia**

* * *

_Why was it so hard?_

_Why was it so hard to be honest? With himself... With others._

He was one of those people who didn't show how they felt, not well at least. He kept all his emotions bottled up inside. He couldn't even admit to himself what he was feeling. So why was he even here?

Here in the Dane's own city.

In front of the Dane's own house.

It was now or never. If Berwald turned away now, he wasn't ever coming back. Hesitantly and with much foreboding dread, he poked the little button of doom. A thing that most people would incorrectly refer to as a doorbell. _Count to twenty._ He told himself. _If he doesn't show, you can leave._

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

Hands sticky with sweat. Anxious adrenaline rushing through his veins.

_Seven._

Butterflies in his stomach. He wondered if he should just leave now and forget the whole endeavor. Before he did something stupid. Something he couldn't take back.

_Fifteen._

Was the Dane coming or not? It wasn't like him not to answer the door.

_Eighteen._

Footsteps. From the other side. The adrenaline was stronger than ever. He was shaking in the anticipation of rejection. It wasn't too late to run and hide.

_Twenty._

The door creaked open to reveal the ever cheerful Dane, that he half wanted to hug, half wanted to punch in the face.

He didn't have to do either as the Dane spoke instead. "Hej Berri, whatcha doing here? Couldn't resist the awesome me, or did ya want to reinstate the Kalmar Union?"

"Far åt helvete!" The glare he sent would have alone been enough to send any normal person running. Yet however Mathias Køhler did not match any definition of normal.

"Love ya too, Sverige." Oh how he wished the Dane actually meant that when he said it.

"Ja, ja. Can we talk?"

"Sure, whatever. Be best if came inside. Want a beer? It's Danish, not your weak, disgusting stuff." Was that all the Dane thought about alcohol, and their rivalry?

"Nej I'll pass."

"Soooo... Beerriii..." The Dane sauntered forward. His face inches from Berwald's. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, a drum that was announcing the upcoming battle. _Badum, Badum, Badum._ He wondered if Mathias could hear it too. "Why are you really here? And don't give me that shit about trade agreements and border policies."

Of all the things the Dane had to ask it had to be that one.

The one he couldn't answer.

The one he didn't want to answer.

"I... uh..."

"Come on Sve, I won't tell anybody. It'll be just between you and me. Dig og mig. Du och jag."

_He's drunk_ he told himself. _He's drunk he doesn't really mean what he's saying._ But it was so tempting. So tempting to tell Mathias everything. Especially when he was like this.

When he wouldn't remember anything of the conversation.

"Jag älskar dig." The words rushed out his mouth before he even knew what he was saying. Flying free like birds, after being chained up in his heart and mind for so long.

Mathias recoiled, eyes wide in shock. "You what?"

"I uh... h've f'r a l'ng t'me." He stuttered out, half afraid the Dane might reach for his axe. "I'll le've n'w."

* * *

If there was one thing Berwald underestimated about Mathias it was his ability to hold his liquor. After over a thousand years the Dane had perfected the art, and very little could escape him. Unfortunately for (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it) Berwald, last night didn't even qualify as drinking for Mathias, and as such he could remember every bit of it.

Honestly Mathias wasn't sure what to think. He really wasn't.

* * *

He looked down at the offending object in his hands. It wasn't as if he wanted to ignore the Dane... Well after last night he kind of did, but still who in their right mind calls someone at 4:00 in the morning. The fact that he was still awake was a testament to his own lack of sleep. He was not answering because of the Danes rude manners, defiantly not because he was afraid that last nights conversation might come up. Of course not.

Well mannered and polite as ever though he allowed the phone to accept the call and be brought to his ear. "Hej! Hej! Pick up the phone Berri! Please Berri pick up the phone." Did Mathias talk to the phone while it was ringing? Strange.

"Hello?"

A sigh sounded from the other end. One the sounded suspiciously like Oh good, you picked up. "Hej, Berri! We should meet up some time. Hang out and stuff you know, the work can wait." That was such a Mathias thing to say.

"Why?"

"Well you know we've got that bridge anniversary coming up that we need to celebrate."

"Mathias, you feel the need to celebrate everything." Really look at him. He even celebrated America's independence day. Why on earth? Actually never mind, there was a simple answer to that... He was Mathias. Question answered, problem solved. Actually he wouldn't mind spending time with his old friend. It had been ages ago that the had last seen Mathias with without fighting.

"Is that a yes?"

"I suppose..." Why did he have to be so Mathias like? He would be so much easier to stand if he was calmer, but then again then he wouldn't be the Mathias they all knew and loved, would he?

"Saturday then. I'll meet you at Malmo." _Beep, beep, beep._

Ugh. That was so him, ask someone to meet him and then hang up before they could answer.

* * *

**A/N **** As I said before I haven't ever really written romance before so if it isn't inconvenient it would be really helpful if you could give me your opinions on it so the next part can be better, positive or negative. I really do value constructive criticism. Currently I am still working on the second part. It may take a while to finish as I am going to have to do some research, but I can guaranty that it is going to be longer.**

**Lastly to any Swedes or Danes out there I apologize if I messed up you language. Currently I am using google translate as I do not know anyone who speaks either of those languages.**

**-gylfie**

* * *

**Edit: 1/7/12**

**Thanks go out to Eraman for correcting me on some of the Swedish.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So it is finally here... bit shorter than I wanted but it was either that or sit on it for another six months... yep. This is the unedited version, I'll repost it when I finnish editing it though it might take a while as school has started up again for me. Any way over and out enjoy :)**_  
_

Mathias Køhler. An enigma to any person persistent enough to try to figure him out. It wasn't as if he was he was stupid or even particularly clever. He was just, to put it lightly, confusing. One day he was ecstatic, the next he was sunk so far into depression and grief from the past. The worst part was that he hid it all.

Hid it all under a mast of idiocy and oblivion.

Hid it so well that not even his best of friends could tell.

Yet Berri had always had a way of knowing though. Knowing what was going on behind that thick skull of his.

How the Swede managed it, he had no clue. But none the less the Swede did.

Anyone could tell you their relationship was an odd one. One day at each other's throats the next, they were best friends. The Kalmar Union hadn't helped. It really hadn't. If anything it had only pushed them apart further.

Pushed them apart in such a way that the resulting wounds could never be mended.

Even now that they were on better terms the scars still shone through. In the way that Berri always took his teasing seriously. In the ways that he could never quite tell Berri how he felt. How sorry he was. How much he regretted everything and how much he wanted to be able to make it up to him some how.

And when the Swede confessed to him that night, well it had made all those walls that he had carefully constructed over thousands of years come crumbling down. It reminded him of all the times he had wanted to run up to the man who had once been his best friend and sob into his shoulder.

A week smile broke across his lips as he remembered the time he had actually done that.

Stupid neutral Sweden.

Stupid neutral Sweden and his God danged boats.

He had been so messed up back then, so unstable.

The ever cheerful, ever hyperactive, ever eccentric Dane made his way towards the train station. He hated the way he had felt this morning. So anxious, so nervous.

It wasn't normal.

It wasn't him.

Like leaves in the wind his hands were trembling. Why was he so nervous?

It wan't him to be nervous this about meting a friend, or to be nervous about anything really. He chided himself that he had lived for thousands of years. He was Danmark, the king of Northern Europe.  
'Really Mathias what have you become from that fearless Viking warrior, the thing that had sent shivers down your spine recently was the prospect of meting your colleague.'  
No, not his colleague, he corrected himself. His friend, his brother. Berri was like a brother to him. An Annoying, teasing, patronizing older brother, but a brother none the less.

Sprawled out around him lay the bustling streets of his darling Copenhagen. Remnants of red and white decorations where littered around helter-skelter.

'Wait a moment, that meant..." Let's see if today was the day after his birthday, then that meant. Oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot. It was Berri's birthday today. How could he have forgotten? Seriously, it was only a day after his. He was really supposed to remember this stuff.

The ride out of Copenhagen was pleasant. The sun shone brightly overhead as Mathias gazed out the window towards the Øresurd sound. On the whole they had come far. Far from those bloodthirsty kids armed with sharp metal objects.

I was amazing really how far they had come from the constantly bickering teens they had once been. Endlessly war, against one another. Blades always at the other's throat.

All of this raised a question.

Just exactly how was one supposed to say sorry after centuries of hatred?

To be honest he didn't know the answer to that question. But when it came down to it, it wasn't going to stop him from trying. It really wasn't. Once an idea got into Mathias' head it stuck there, no matter how many people tried to eradicate it.

* * *

"Berrriii!" shouted the obnoxiously red blur speeding at him.

"Hej."

"Guess what day it is...?" Of course Berwald knew what day it was. It was his day after all. The question was did Den. How ever if this it was it came down do, he might as well humor the overbearing idiot.

"I don't know, what d'y is it then, Danmark?" The spiky haired monstrosity just guffawed at him. Was what he had said really that amusing.

"How can you not know what day it is? I mean come on it's an awesome one." So his day was awesome, now was it?

He never thought he'd live to see the day Mathias called him, indirectly as it may be, awesome. "It's the day after my birthday of course!"

Bright jade eyes glared at the shorter man. He really should have known, really he should have. He should have seen that one coming.

"Oh and Berri..."

"Ja." Don't get your hopes up Sverige, just don't. He's just going to crush them back into the ground.

"Tillykke med fødselsdagen!" The so addressed 'Berri' rolled his eyes. _Only you Mathias, only you._

* * *

Of all the things for him to find odd this was by far the strangest and perhaps maybe the most understandable. It wasn't that he couldn't get used to this, it was just that he wasn't. He just wasn't.

He wasn't used to strolling aimlessly through the cobbled ways of his arch rival/neighbors town, well it was more of a city, but oh well. It didn't feel normal, especially with the silent companion he had currently by his side. It wasn't uncomfortable though, just un-normal.

Not normal.

Never normal.

It hadn't been for a long time.

Not since they had been kids.

Part of him missed how they had been back then.

Back when there where only three of them.

Back when they had been perfectly happy to run around the frost bitten land and follow Lukas into the depths of Hel herself.

Before there were political relations.

Before there was Finland and Iceland to stand in his way.

He wished he had taken the leap back then. He wished he had stepped up and said what was on his mind, because now... Now... even with Sve's confession to him, it was too late.

Too late, because what could he do now. There was nothing he could do now to make up for the past, but somehow Sweden didn't care. And it was that thought that broke his somber face into a wide grin that only he could make.

It wasn't long before Berri noticed. "What's got _you_ in such a good mood?"

"Nothing", came the cheeky reply.

Berwald merely scrutinized him, trying to figure out the impossible man beside him.

"Well... actually I was thinking maybe we should get a drink. Beer is always good!" Why was Berri looking at him like that. It wasn't like that was a bad idea? What else were they gonna do together? Verbally attack one another? Well they were going to end up doing that anyway, especially if they were drinking... but the point remains.

"Oh yeah, and Berri, before you say it – I know you want to. I can see it in your face – I can't be impossible, I exist." Mathias grinned cheekily up at the taller man.

* * *

"Your drinking Carlsburg, in Sweden?"

"Hey, it's your bar that sells it not mine!"

"Only because there are so many idiotic Danish tourists who buy it."

"At least I don't drink salmiak flavored vodka, like a certain wife of yours I could mention."

Berwald immediately clammed up. "He's not my wife!" He said defensively, like he was trying to convince himself more than Denmark.

"Oh sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned..." Mathias didn't know exactly what had come between Sweden and Finland. Politically the winter war, but there was more than that, and even he knew better to pry about that. Despite his cold exterior, Sweden was sensitive, especially about his old "wife". Even if they had split over fifty years ago.

" 's not your fau't." Berri was getting sad again. Oh God, he didn't want this. This day was supposed to be fun. He felt terrible. He wished he could take back mentioning Fin. He had been stupid, too hung up in the moment to think.

"Look Berri, if there's anything I can do..."

"Remember," Berri's voice was low and slurred, he almost couldn't make out what the Swede had said.

"What?"

"Just remember, that's what you can do." Remember what. What was he supposed to remember? Berri eyes were apprehensive, afraid of what he had said, but also hopeful.

It sparked in his brain, that night out in the rain when Berri con... "Berri, if it's about what you said... Well I know I'll never be able to make up for what I've done to you, but just so ya know you're not alone. And if well, if you want to try we can give us a change." His sentences came out in a slurred rush, but as always Berri seemed to have understood what he said. With shocked joy spread across his face the Swede hugged him. "So that's a yes?" Mattie asked.

"Ja," and with that the Swede leaned in, kissing him.


End file.
